The Semaphore Version of 'Wuthering
Heights' / 'Julius Caesar' on an Aldis Lamp
Voice Over: (Michael
Palin) And now for the very first time on the silver screen
comes the film from two books which once shocked a generation. From Emily
Brontė's 'Wuthering Heights' and from the 'International Guide to Semaphore
Code', Twentieth Century Vole presents 'The Semaphore Version of Wuthering
on screen: 'THE SEMAPHORE VERSION OF WUTHERING HEIGHTS' Film: appropriate
film music throughout. Heathcliffe (Terry Jones) in close-up profile, his
hair is blowing in the wind, he looks intense. Cut to close-up Catherine
(Carol Cleveland) also in profile, with hair streaming in wind. As if they
are looking into each other's eyes. Pull out to reveal, on very long zoom,
that they are each on the top of separate small hills, in rolling
countryside. Heathcliffe produces two semaphore flags from behind him, and
SUBTITLE: 'OH! CATHERINE'
across to Catherine who also produces two flags and waves.)
SUBTITLE: 'OH! HEATHCLIFFE'
waves flags again.)
SUBTITLE: 'OH! OH! CATHERINE'
each cut they are further and further away from each other. Catherine waves
SUBTITLE: 'OH! OH! HEATHCLIFFE'
to her husband at front door of early Victorian manor house, looking stem.
He waves two flags.)
back to Catherine on hilltop.)
SUBTITLE: 'HARK! I HEAR MY HUSBAND'
to husband with two enormous flags.)
to interior of the early Victorian manor house. Close-up of a cradle.
Suddenly two little semaphore flags pop up from inside the cradle and wave.)
SUBTITLE: 'WAAAAAGH! WAAAAAAGH!'
back to reveal a nurse who walks over to cradle and waves flag briefly.)
nurse points across the room. Cut to shot of old man asleep in chair with
head slumped forward on his chest. He has two flags which he waves.)
SUBTITLE: 'ZZZ . . . ZZZ . . .'
to front door again. Exterior. Husband is waiting. Catherine comes up the
path towards him. As she approaches he flags.)
SUBTITLE: 'YOU'VE BEEN SEEING HEATHCLIFFE'
SUBTITLE: 'YES! YES! I'VE BEEN SEEING HEATHCLIFFE, AND WHY NOT? HE'S THE
ONLY MAN I EVER LOVED. HE'S FINE. HE'S STRONG. HE'S ALL THE THINGS YOU'LL
NEVER BE, AND WHAT'S MORE . . .'
on screen: 'MONDAY FOR 7 DAYS' Stock film of a Roman chariot race.)
Voice Over: From the pulsating pages of history, from the dark and
furious days of Imperial Rome we bring you a story that shattered the world!
A tale so gripping that they said it could not be filmed. A unique event in
cinema history! Julius Caesar on an Aldis lamp!
caption on screen: 'JULIUS CAESAR ON AN ALDIS LAMP' Close-up of Caesar
walking in Roman street. Soothsayer pushes his way up to him wild eyed and
produces Aldis lamp and starts flashing:)
SUBTITLE: 'BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH'
steps at the foot of a statue. Caesar is stabbed. As he falls he brings out
a really big Aldis lamp and flashes to the assassins around him.)
SUBTITLE: 'ET TU BRUTE'
Western street. Two cowboys facing each other with Morse buzzers.)
Voice Over: From the makers of 'Gunfight at the OK Corral in Morse Code'.
caption on screen: 'GUNFIGHT AT THE OK CORRAL IN MORSE CODE' They buzz a
to a Red Indian making smoke signals.)
Voice Over: And the smoke-signal version of 'Gentlemen Prefer Blondes'.
caption on screen: 'AND THE SMOKE-SIGNAL VERSION OF GENTLEMEN PREFER